More than I can handle on my own
I feel more and more that there is no way that I could have endured Trinity's illness by myself. I know myself well enough to realize that I would have spent way too much time feeling sorry for myself. But I am truly blessed to know that there are so many people in my life that are there when I need them. Sometimes I don't even know that I need them. I run into these people every single day. I probably have needed them for a long time, but lately it has simply been more obvious. I suppose that my faith operates in a similar manner, there are always things and people I need, but I am not always paying attention enough to realize I need it at all.
I was talking to a friend of mine today who commented that Autumn and I had been on a bit of a faith journey throughout this process. I would agree, but not in the way that you might be thinking. I will admit that my faith in God has increased greatly through this process because he has proved in a way that is very important to me that He is always there for me, no matter what happens. I never really doubted that he would bring us through this thing, but never could I imagine that he would do it in such an incredible way.
But the real journey for me has been talking about my faith. It wasn't a stretch, at least not as much as I thought, to trust God while Trinity was so sick. You certainly have to rely on someone bigger than you when your child is on a ventilator. There is nothing you can do except talk to her, sing to her, and stroke her hand or head. There was no way I could handle that for days without God there to strengthen me. Autumn was a great help too, but she was also dealing with her own stuff. It was God who propped me up. But the amazing part was that I was able to talk about it. Maybe it was because it was such a vital part of our day to day living, but it just seemed like that was the part we needed to talk about; that and all the support from the people in our lives.
So there was a journey and there still is a journey. Every day brings new challenges and an amazing recovery from Trinity. Thank you for your prayers and support. You have been a part of God's plan, whether you knew it or not.
Now enough of that, on to the cuteness...
Below are a series of shots that speak for themselves. As such, I will refrain from captioning them. Enjoy Trinity eating her foot. I know she did!