Ebb and Flow
This seems to be a theme lately in our life here in the Swarrell house. Moods ebb and flow, sleep does the same. Even Trinity's recovery has a bit of the ebb and flow to it. Two days ago I was relieved and excited by the prospect of Trinity being able to see again. Today she went in to the optometrist here in town, where she exhibited no signs of being able to see at all. Needless to say, it took the wind out of my sails when Autumn told me the news. I could tell that she was having a tough time of it, so it was hard to sit there on the phone and not be able to comfort her. That's something that I have had trouble with lately, not being able to comfort either of my girls. Autumn's been so strong though. She's been having her own struggles now that she's going back to work at the hospital. There are lots of things there that are reminding her of our stay there. That would make it tough to focus on work, if it were me.
We talked about the whole situation and sometimes even roam into the "what if?" game that really doesn't do any good. The fact is that this whole thing happened and it continues to happen. Thinking about what might have been, or wishing that it never happened is so futile. It may sound strange, but I don't regret anything. Do I wish that things were different for my daughter? You bet! But I have no regrets. I hope that my daughter doesn't have to suffer as a consequence. But I believe that she will have a rich, abundant life. She is now, as much as before, my daughter that I love more and more each day. I am so thankful when I get to rock her to sleep at night. That's a gift I can give to her and her me. How could I regret something that has given me that?
As a side note, I started a silly group on Facebook called "I Prayed for Trinity Harrell". I am trying to see how far this community stretches. I have word that there are people as far as Finland, Amsterdam, Uganda, Texas and beyond who are praying. I am amazed by the whole thing and would like to share this blessing with those who are participating. Sing out if you've been involved, we'd love to hear about it!
Alright, it's times for bed. But before I go, here's some random cuteness: