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Showing posts from January, 2016

The Wrong Idea

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If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this post is worth five thousand words. Believe that? Me either. But in keeping with tradition, I do have a few words to add.

Pictures are great! Pictures are awesome! Pictures are deceptive. Pictures never ever ever tell the whole story. That's why, although pictures do contain an intrinsic narrative, they usually need some actual words to go along with them so that someone does not get the wrong idea. So that's what I am going to do; I am going to explain the photos. Wow, that sounds really boring. I'm actually amazed your still reading this. That was so boring I just fell asleep typing it. Snore.

WAKE UP!!!
 Okay, now that I have your full and undivided attention (actually I am fully aware that you just tweeted six times in the time it took me to type that last sentence. I get it.), Let's take a look at a couple of photos. As background, let me start with the fact that our family has been skiing together for a couple of …

The Death of a Mermaid

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Let's call this post mortem, for several reasons. The first is because, well, the mermaid died. At the hand of my wife. I'll remind you that she does know how to cut bodies open, and does so regularly. So yeah, professional operations happen here at our house. The second reason for the post mortem is so that we can all learn from this experience and be better prepared moving forward. Take notes.

Exhibit A: Young female, seven years of age. Mermaid amputee, age unknown. Both seem happy (although how either can be smiling considering the location of one right-hand index finger, I have no idea). Don't worry, it gets worse, much worse. As the story goes, said finger was being used to re-shape the mermaid's bosom from the inside. The procedure appears to have begun successfully, since the bosom appears to be convex, which is appropriate. There was a slight hiccup though in phase two, since, as is obvious, said finger is still in the mermaid. It's not quite clear how lo…